Lipstick Pit Bull Fact Check

Toward the end of 2000 (specifically in mid-November when the election debacle was finally being resolved), I spent many nervous hours considering emigration to Canada.  The idea of a George W. Bush administration was more than scary enough to make me consider leaving family, friends, and U.S. citizenship behind in favor of the relative peace and simplicity enjoyed by our northern neighbors.  Then I thought, “Hell, America’s too smart for this.  It can’t last.  I’ll stick it out.”  Eight gut-wrenching years later, we’re staring down the barrel of McCain/Palin: Possibly the only weapon that could be MORE destructive than Bush/Cheney has been to American life, liberty, and the pursuit of [reasonable] happiness.

Why does this prospect worry me?  Golly, where to start…  Installing the very oldest of Old School Politics is a problem.  McCain can conjure the “C” word [Change] all he wants. Even with the perky new blood provided by his intended VP, no one will convince me he has the slightest notion of what it’s like to live in the 21^st century, let alone what kind of real change will be required if we’re to survive it.  His handlers saw him getting into trouble when he admitted to knowing so little about economic policy.  Seven houses later, all those lively open-forum media sessions got wound up tighter than Cindy’s chignon. He started coughing up all the usual pre-chewed and sanitized-for-your-protection pulp as provided by the pollsters and communications experts.  Now every time his audience gets a little drowsy, he trots out that tired old POW speech.  All of the armchair patriots start hooting and revving their engines and my bowels go a little loose.  The idea of letting a Viet Nam vet with a notorious temper and a big chip on his shoulder make foreign policy decisions should make everyone run for the crapper.

As for his rabid little haus frau Sarah Palin, I’m irked on multiple levels.  First, I resent the fact that the Mac Attackers have the nerve to cry “sexism” every time someone challenges her policies.  (I’m an equal opportunity grumbler – the sexism whine was one of the things that irritated me about the Clinton camp, as well).  I think it’s ridiculous that I should be expected to make any kind of allowances or wave a feminist flag for her simply because we share a plumbing diagram.  She’s a hard-core Christian Rightist who believes our current occupation of Iraq has an explicit mandate from God.  That’s just the biggest, fuzziest cloud of concern I have.  Of course, I know that it’s as easily dismissed as the Reverend Wright doppelganger. Fortunately there is much more available in the way of hard, documentable fact:

• “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a “community organizer,” said the Pit Bull in Lipstick, “except that you have actual responsibilities.” During her tenure as Mayor, most of the actual responsibilities of running the small city of Wasilla were turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed by party power-brokers to hire an administrator after she had gotten herself into some hot water over precipitous firings (sound like any recent DOJ problems?) which had given rise to a very vocal recall action.
   
• One of Sarah’s main mayoral campaign planks was that of a “fiscal conservative.” During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years, the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. And during a period of unprecedented low inflation (1996-2002), she reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax that even taxed food. The cuts that she promoted benefited large private and corporate property owners way more than they benefited the everyday residents.
   
• Sadly, the huge increase in tax revenues still weren’t enough to fund everything on her wish list, so she borrowed.  She inherited a city with zero debt, but left the office over $22 million in the hole. What did this new debt provide?  Was it the infrastructural improvements promised in her campaign?  Maybe the much-needed sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? New library? No. $1M for a park, and more than $15M for a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn’t even have clear title to (which is still in litigation 7 yrs later, much to the delight of the lawyers involved!). Anyone in Wasilla AK will tell you that the sports complex is a nice addition to the community, but it’s a huge money pit and is nowhere near the profit-generator Palin promised it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5M in new road projects that could have been completed in 5-7 years using normal budgeting allowances.  No new debt required.
   
• As an oil producer, the state of Alaska has enjoyed a budget surplus thanks to ever-rising prices on crude. Rather than reinvesting this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, or applying it to those road projects, Palin proposed distribution of this surplus back to the taxpayer. Message from this Fiscal Conservative: Why save today when you can borrow tomorrow?
   
• As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren’t generated by her or her staff. Ideas were evaluated not on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.
   
• Palin tried to fire a highly respected City Librarian for refusing to consider removal of some books Sarah wanted off the shelves. City residents rallied against Palin’s blatant attempt at censorship, so she backed down and withdrew the termination letter. People who fought her on the library mess are on her enemies list to this day.
   
• As both Mayor and Governor she hired/elevated inexperienced and obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their newly-burgeoning careers.  All were grateful and fiercely loyal.  Loyal to the point of using their office to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State’s top cop (see below).
   
• As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla’s Police Chief because, she told the press, he “intimidated” her. It’s within every mayor’s purview to hire/fire at will, but this one smacked of retribution.  It’s commonly known that the Chief wouldn’t fire her sister’s ex-husband, a State Trooper. While under investigation for abuse of power, Sarah admitted that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the Chief, pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She attempted to replace the Chief with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.
   
• When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best: Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission.  It is one of the few jobs not based in Juneau, and definitely one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this lucrative ($122,400/yr) post, she was complaining in the press about the waste of this high salary. Insiders say that she hated the commute, the structured hours… generally, the work.
   
• Sarah became aware that a member of this Oil and Gas Conservation Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) had engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a ballsy move that many cautioned would be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one masterful stroke by formally – and loudly – resigning.  She cited her unwillingness to serve on a commission that was so obviously fraught with corruption.  Win-win!  She got out of the job she hated, and garnered gobs of media attention as the plucky opponent of the “old boys’ club” and new patron saint of ethics.
   
• No one was better than Sarah was at collecting earmarks from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and gone to great lengths to publicly humiliate him. When in reality she only opposed his “bridge to nowhere” after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.
   
• As Governor, she gave the Legislature neither direction nor budgetary guidelines, but then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects and branding them bacon fat. A huge public outcry demanded legislative action to restore most of these projects.  Project that had been vetoed simply because Palin was not aware of their importance and repercussions.  But for the unobservant, she successfully gained a reputation as “anti-pork.”
   
• While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.  How much more of a superficial female archetype can she be?

CLAIMS v. FACTS

• Hockey mom: True for a few years
• PTA mom: True years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since
• NRA supporter: Absolutely true; and favors the slaughter of pesky old endangered wildlife from the convenience and safety of low-flying aircraft
• Social conservative: Mixed. Opposes gay marriage, but vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconstitutional).
• Pro-creationism: Mixed. Verbally supports it, but did nothing as Governor to promote it.
• Pro-life: Mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down’s Syndrome baby, but declined to call a special legislative session on some anti-abortion legislation
• Experienced: Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the entire state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000 people.
• Political maverick: Not remotely. Her policies are taken right from the GOP play book, but she does have a knack for biting hands that had fed her.  The State party leaders hate her because she gladly accepts favors but is unlikely to return them. Other members of the party object to her self-description as a fiscal conservative.
• Gutsy: absolutely! They call her “Sarah Barracuda” because of her unbridled ambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became such a public figure, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team.
• Open & transparent: No. Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.
• Has a fully developed philosophy of public policy: Hardly.  Unless it’s a philosophy of knowing which way the wind is blowing.
• A ‘Greenie’ and land use specialist: Absolutely not. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling offshore and in ANWR.
• Fiscal conservative: Not by any traditional definition.
• Pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. New roadways were developed to early 20th century standards.
• Pro tax relief: Sure. Relief for businesses, increased tax burden on residents
• Pro small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla’s history.
• Pro labor/pro union. Her husband is in a union.  She loves her husband.  Therefore, she loves unions.  No, there’s nothing in her policies or legislation that suggest she’s pro labor.

So am I being unnecessarily hard on her simply because I want her to be a true feminist voice: One that represents the all the diverse points of view, depth of compassion, spirit, and sense of reason that I believe are unique to womanhood?  Maybe.  But if that’s asking too much, I could at least celebrate the accomplishments of someone who wasn’t a self-aggrandizing, faith-healin, pistol-packin, nature-killin, well-drillin, lying sack of excrement in Jimmy Choos and a sassy up-do.

I suppose the thing that bothers me the most is that the Grand Old Party was foaming at the mouth to paint Obama as nothing more than a cult of personality.  Then the quickly prop up their own razor-wit glamour goddess and start crowing about her star power.  For Pete’s sake, I can’t be the only one noticing the extreme level of desperation, here.  Hopefully I won’t have to start practicing a new song.

“Oooh, Canada… Our home and native laaaand…”